Modern life makes me want to become a saint

I dont know how to say this, but I am leaning more and more towards the ascetic life. The sort where you leave everything behind and go live in a forest. And why is that you may wonder dear reader..its because every single possession that I own just happens to find the wrong time to break down. And then you have to fix the darn thing. And spend money. And pull your hair out. So..without further ado, lets list the things that have conked off and which are driving me irresistably towards the monastic life devoid of worldly possessions:

1. The geyser switch in the bathroom which emits a pleasant yet alarming smoke everytime it is switched on.
2. The automatic window on my car which refuses to go down (not on me, silly..I mean downwards)
3. The steering mechanism on my wifes car which emits an sinister clacking noise everytime it is turned. I tried ignoring it, but my dad told me the wheel might fall off anytime soon and roll away to I suppose it must be fixed now.
4. The music system on my wifes car that has to be repeatedly whacked in order to produce some sound. Its like a lottery..sometimes you get the radio, and sometimes distorted and crackling music from the cd player starts. My wife has the sort of endless patience that allows her to prod the music system repeatedly and a childlike expression of wonder and expectation at what sound will ensue from the prodding. Meanwhile, I am pulling small hairs out from my chest in irritation.
5. The inkjet printer that I bought 6 months ago that now needs to have repairs equalling roughly the cost of the printer.
6. The DVD player that we bought 6 months ago that now skips happily between scenes of a dvd so you can use your rampant imagination to fill in the missing bits.
7. The computer in my office that was used to connect to the net and has now downloaded so many nasties on its own, that it reminds me of that evil computer on Space Odessey 2001 that killed off all the occupants of the spacecraft. The same might happen here, so I have locked myself into my cabin.

These are the major annoyances listed above. In minor annoyances I have listed:
1. Tubelight in the hall that had to be replaced with a dim bulb so all reading has to be done by squinting.
2. My cell phone which wipes out all my data as soon as the battery runs out...some genius in the art of torture musta invented that one.
3. The TATA Indicom phone in the living room that took 2 months to get, and now when we come home tells us we have 2300 missed calls.

Well, thats about all I can think of now but seriously dudes, this modern life is taking all the fun out of living. I yearn for the time when I can go off into the forest, (having set fire to all my worldly possessions), there to be looked after hand and foot by the charming maidens who reside there for this purpose.