Lottery (noun) - a tax on people who are bad at math.
Freudian Slip (noun) - when you mean to say "Please pass the salt", but it comes out as "You damn bitch, you've ruined my life".
Auto Biography (noun) - The life story of a car.
Argument (noun) - A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Blonde Jokes (noun) - Jokes that are short enough for a man to understand.
Grocery List (noun) - A piece of paper you spent half an hour writing, and then forgot to take with you to the store.
Transvestite (noun) - A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
Accountant (noun) - Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
Amnesia (noun) - Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.