How to Wake up Daddy..

First of all, its very important to get moved from the crib to the bed. This can be accomplished in several ways, but the simplest is to either wake up numerous times during the night, prompting an exhausted parent to finally move you to the main bed, or else during the 5.30am feeding time after which said sleepy parent will put you next to them and then pat you to sleep. 

After this important move is accomplished, it is very important to not sleep deeply yourself. Give the impression that you are snoozing, while actually you are laying in readiness to put your dastardly plan into action.

Sharp at 0645 hrs action should commence. First make small noises to test whether your victim is deeply asleep. If he doesn't react, then commence making louder noises while wiggling around from side to side. Add some leg movement. Don't be shy! Slowly scoot over to dad's side of the bed with your leg held out in front of you as a sort of probe. When your leg encounters his fleshy backside, start giving a couple of kicks. This will result in dad stirring slightly and trying to pat you back to sleep. Desist for a short while until he goes back to sleep himself, and then begin with even greater vigour. By now, he will be too far gone and try to get out of range. Don't let that happen! Get behind him and keep up the kicking. Alternate the kicking with pats, grabbing any clothing of his, clawing at his face. All the while keep saying "papa, paaaapaa, puppa, paapa." 

After about 15mins of this, Dad will finally wake out of his stupor and roll over to give you a bleary kiss and a cuddle. That's when you know you have won! Oh what a lovely way to start the day!!

Note: These maneuvers must be executed when Mummy is not around. Otherwise, she will protect Daddy and prevent the full effect of kicks being felt!