Side effects of wife's absence

As an addendum to the above post. Once she's gone, the following ill effects set in:

1. An incessant yearning for her to be back develops. I send mushy text and email messages, crankily demand she calls me up every half hour, and generally express my displeasure at her not giving me any attention.
2. After playing computer games for 24 hours straight, I can hardly see straight..everything looks blurry, and I develop in a tic in my right eye which makes my office staff think I am winking at them (Im not winking you fool, this is my grumpy face)!
3. I lose enough weight to tighten my belt by 2 notches and get runs from all the junk food.
4. I get a hacking cough from all the cigarettes and lack of sleep (due to said computer gaming frenzy).
5. Phone bills multiply exponentially and close friends have been known to snatch my phone away so I dont keep checking for messages.
6. Checking of email ensues to a paranoid degree - did she send me mail, did she send me mail. Followed by more text messages demanding a mail.
7. Unmanly viewing of vacation photos and any visual reminder of times together is done (good gawd, get yourself together man!)

Basically, chaos.

Honey, if you are reading this......get back soooooon!